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Jan. 19th, 2009

(no subject)

So I asked a friend to tell a sorry the other day. Just anything, you know what I mean? Once upon lived a boy who had thorns inside his finger tips. The girls stayed far from him until on day along came a girl who had rose petals as eyelashes. They fell in love and kissed romantically. Stupid improv story, but that is my example. The thing is, he stated he was not able to. He then proceeded to simply wrap me in an embrace. A nice gesture I suppose, but I'm afraid it's not what I needed.  The story of that boy is not one that needs to be told so I will go no further in explanation. Though today it you all that I turn to and ask. Tell me a story, won't you? Tell me anything. Shout it, whisper it, laugh about it. Just don't offer me a hug. This is my sincere request for anyone willing.

Oct. 26th, 2008

Well I'll probably pay for this...

but best thing in life aren't free. So however difficult the consequences are determines it worth. I suppose that will give that night more worth, it'll mean more than others have at the Marquee. Never before have my parents not allowed me to go to a concert before...and never before have my parents and I been known to be on the same logic level. These are the fast times, so let's make them  count.

It's harder without anyone to back me up anymore. In fact it's become opposite. The opposing side in all my arguments(i.e. my parents) now has my brother while I am sister less. I won't deny that they love me greatly. I know they do, which makes it that much harder not being able to get along with them. I want to help my mother. My bedrooms will testify, but I just don't know how.

See this is where I write about some of the shit going on. I'm not going to waste my notebook on it for someone(including me) to read over. But it's a part of me I want out. So why not let it be out in cyberspace to collect whatever dust is found there and to be lost.

Well weird things are making me laugh. Lingo I don't understand, "and my bro has a house up there so we hit up his 4 footer and 2 zens." Honestly what does that even mean? It made me shake and cover my face in laughter. Then after I told Lexi about my 'call me at least once a day, knows where I live, who's friend request I've had to deny 4 times, has drawn me 2 pictures and HAND delivered them to my house' stalker, she replied telling me it was 'seriously creepy' and how a lot of people she knows are getting stalkers now and asking if there was a convention we missed. Oh god! I bet there was. Dear Lexi, that was hilarious.

Oct. 11th, 2008

Camping, California, and Panic concert

Shit. Fuck. Mike/Sascha is going to throw a hissy fit and be upset at me.
Oh well.
It's been awhile. Went camping for 5 days on the 25th. I'm ending my fall break which five days of I spent in lovely Ventura/Santa Paula California. Slept over in my sister's dorm after her Freshmen/Senior dance on Saturday up there at her college. Then I got the pleasure of sitting in on her philosophy class. She goes to a Liberal Arts School. It was nice. Oh and I met this totally adoreable guy who was so hot at Knott's Berry Farm cause I was bored. He worked there and we were all talking and he wrote dow n his name and his band name so I could find him and his band on myspace and add them both and all AND i lost the fucking paper! Complete let down, but I have faith that the band's name will pop up somewhere.
Next up I want Puma First Round EX or those high Nike shoes that are so bright.
I had another person tell me their life story a little bit ago. A funny boy, it was sweet and sad.
And what should have been a great highlight: Wednesday night. Panic at the Disco. but it was way too big for my tastes. I didn't feel it. No connesction with the boys or the crowd. I wouldn't have missed seeing Love anyway.  It was fun to see Brendon getting passionate at playing drums, to add to all the other instruments he can play.  Ryan seems to be more confident. And the Shoat cover at the end was really entertaining for the crowd. Too bad they didn't come out for an encore. I mean who doesn't come out for an encore? Oh well.
I need to go grocery shopping, I'm eating tuna seasoned with lemon and pepper. I talk to my sea food before I eat it. It tells me secrets from the ocean...who could love me? i'm out of my mind.
I think the only person I'll ever love truly is myself.

Sep. 8th, 2008

Trying hard not to be ashamed..,

What are your favorite Amanda Palmer and/or Dresden Dolls lyrics? As in what song.
Favorite Bright Eyes lyrics?

What other artist owns your favorite lyrics?

Sep. 5th, 2008

(no subject)

I had a good morning, well more interesting than good. And Sir Stellar ran back in my head and had me unconsciously smiling and pondering his tangency and how he didn't finish his sentences and where he was taking me, till lunch when I went to go look for him. But he was in a meeting, so I was lonely. He keeps me going in not so great times. He is the last of the remaining company I enjoy at that school anymore. With everybody else I just kinda blurt things out and they laugh with me and I laugh at them. I just dream. Total space cadet. They're boring. I really don't like this state. I need an adventure. Then with my rides to everywhere away at college this year it's difficult to get around plus I don't have Sir Stellar's number because I was going to get it after school when I walked with him but he didn't come. So I was impatient to get to my house and fell asleep when I did. Not everyday can be sugar right. You'll get sick.

Lady Idiosyncratic will have you finding yourself stuck if you ever if you ever fall into her arms, luring you in with her opaque charms. Fire engine lips and cracked hips. Touching you with bruised silken fingertips.

I want to start leaving certain people anonymous  notes to people to proke thoughs and leave comforting thoughts and I want them to wonder...what to write though. Any suggestions?

Reason refuses to witness the destruction of the will.

Brann slid his fingers over vacant areas of skin where bruises had previously occupied. It was too early to take pleasure in his survival.

Sep. 4th, 2008

An introduction...

Today was a tremendous day.
Lately the human race had ceased to impress me, but my mind has been racing with scattered thoughts and fantasies. Something was in me, on my side, when I woke up this morning. I felt ready. I had been behind in Spanish; I finished all missing assignments and the one due for next class during free time that period and handed them into the teacher. I let my hand fly across my notebook collecting my thoughts in Latin class next; and actually paid attention to the lesson for the first time. I tried hard to finish an assignment that was way overdue and I had been making lame excuses for in Mythology class. I didn't finish. Though I worked from start to finish during lunch without eating. I reluctantly entered the classroom. We watched a movie the whole way through. Relief. I can do it over the weekend. I was not alone. There was a force in me. The school day concluded watching a black and white film in Creative Writing class since my teacher was ill. I read Walter de la Mare.
When I was younger I used to love reading, then when things got rough I took a break. When I tried to pick it up again but I couldn't focus on the words, but slowly I slipped into the capability again. I love Walter de la Mare. He creates magical scenarios in your head and he is a great influence.
Then after we were hanging out, as we always do. Twenty or so of us.
Alysa and I are great together. Louise and I are great together. Alysa and I...understand things others don't. A gift. Some possess it. What she senses is different from me. I can't relate to every aspect of an individual. I've never battled cancer; been raped; caught in a awfully dark world. But I'm really good at seeing the world through someone else's eyes. I can feel what they're going through. Be it the effect, the situation, emotion...or something else. And at times I have understood an emotion better than the person them self and it's like I have a burden on my heart. I can feel their pain. I could cry over the hurt I feel through them.
I have a lot in me. From personal experiences and from fragments of the souls filling the world around me, if they let me in. I stumbled upon Matt's today.I stepped in front of him. As a shield of love to block out the hurt being thrown at him. His strong force. I have to save him.

The kids are all fucked up. I need to save the kids. I want the hate to end.
Just.
Make.
It.
STOP.

Aug. 10th, 2008

(no subject)

Ok so I haven't written any stories for months. I need your help to inspire me and wet these dry, magic lacking, keyboard missing fingers of mine.

MOAR!You just gotta help me...Collapse )

Aug. 1st, 2008

This is the death of beauty...

Is anyone know what kind of people go to Hush Sound shows? I don't know alot about them...and they're coming here to Pheonix on Thursday and I kinda want to go but I won't know anyone going...does anyone know who's going?